One of the most difficult things in the world for humans to do is to receive admonition. Admonition is painful. It is repugnant to our pride. Fallen human nature simply does not like to be told that it is wrong and/or ignorant. Because we have this natural (read "fallen") predisposition, receiving admonition is one of the premier signs of wisdom. He who knows the most knows just how little he knows, while he who thinks he knows everything has yet to figure how much more there is left to know!
Enter 2018.
Receiving admonition is especially difficult in an age where our god is Self and our creed is Follow your heart. Our culture has trained us to be self-centered and belligerent, so being corrected is hardly something we're prepared to take. I have rights! I have a voice! When being true to oneself is the summum bonum, receiving admonition is worthless or even immoral.
So much conflict resolution training, whether it be for the home or work place, focuses on how the person initiating a conversation needs to present his grievance in a way that will be well-received. At risk of sounding like a chauvinist, I think men are often singled out as needing to be more sensitive in their approach (this emphasis on masculine insensitivity is probably not misguided). Choosing our words and attitudes wisely is certainly both practical and Biblical (see Proverbs 15:1) because the way that we approach a problem can have a huge impact on whether or not that problem is successfully resolved.
What often happens, however, is that this important truth becomes an excuse for refusing to heed admonition. How many times have you heard people reject counsel because someone used the wrong tone of voice or chose their words poorly? I know I'm guilty of this. I have denied valid concerns brought to me because I didn't like the way they were presented. If we're honest, I think we all have, whether those words came from a parent, spouse, pastor, boss, coworker, or friend.
While this is our natural response, it is not necessarily a good one. Good communication is equal parts speaking and listening, so if we want to be effective communicators, we need to learn to receive truth, no matter how it is spoken. Of course truth is most effectively communicated with a gentle, humble demeanor and cautious words, but that doesn't imply that words said harshly are automatically false. We need to train our minds and hearts to heed wisdom and admonition, even if the volume is higher than we'd like.
This is also true of admonition that comes from people that we (to put it bluntly) don't like or don't respect. Wisdom can come from the most unexpected sources imaginable, from a young child to an old fool. Sometimes that annoying coworker is going to say something worth hearing. Sometimes that idiot brother of yours is going to make a good point. We need to develop the discernment to receive valid admonition, no matter where it originates.
The Christian walk is often a struggle, which is why God gave us each other. The Christian life was never intended to be lived in isolation. We need to learn to admonish each other gently and to receive admonition, even when it is isn't proffered as gently as we would like.
Enter 2018.
Receiving admonition is especially difficult in an age where our god is Self and our creed is Follow your heart. Our culture has trained us to be self-centered and belligerent, so being corrected is hardly something we're prepared to take. I have rights! I have a voice! When being true to oneself is the summum bonum, receiving admonition is worthless or even immoral.
So much conflict resolution training, whether it be for the home or work place, focuses on how the person initiating a conversation needs to present his grievance in a way that will be well-received. At risk of sounding like a chauvinist, I think men are often singled out as needing to be more sensitive in their approach (this emphasis on masculine insensitivity is probably not misguided). Choosing our words and attitudes wisely is certainly both practical and Biblical (see Proverbs 15:1) because the way that we approach a problem can have a huge impact on whether or not that problem is successfully resolved.
What often happens, however, is that this important truth becomes an excuse for refusing to heed admonition. How many times have you heard people reject counsel because someone used the wrong tone of voice or chose their words poorly? I know I'm guilty of this. I have denied valid concerns brought to me because I didn't like the way they were presented. If we're honest, I think we all have, whether those words came from a parent, spouse, pastor, boss, coworker, or friend.
While this is our natural response, it is not necessarily a good one. Good communication is equal parts speaking and listening, so if we want to be effective communicators, we need to learn to receive truth, no matter how it is spoken. Of course truth is most effectively communicated with a gentle, humble demeanor and cautious words, but that doesn't imply that words said harshly are automatically false. We need to train our minds and hearts to heed wisdom and admonition, even if the volume is higher than we'd like.
This is also true of admonition that comes from people that we (to put it bluntly) don't like or don't respect. Wisdom can come from the most unexpected sources imaginable, from a young child to an old fool. Sometimes that annoying coworker is going to say something worth hearing. Sometimes that idiot brother of yours is going to make a good point. We need to develop the discernment to receive valid admonition, no matter where it originates.
The Christian walk is often a struggle, which is why God gave us each other. The Christian life was never intended to be lived in isolation. We need to learn to admonish each other gently and to receive admonition, even when it is isn't proffered as gently as we would like.
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