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18 Rules to Help You Determine whether or not You Should Vote in 2018

Celebrities from Taylor Swift to LeBron James to Brad Pitt and Leo DiCaprio are once again out spreading the message of the importance of voting (apparently they feel that being famous qualifies them to have an opinion; alas, a platform is no replacement for knowledge!).  These Hollywood types are trying to rile up the youth (a familiar statist and socialistic tactic) of this nation, a demographic that is traditionally progressive, but that rarely votes.  Millennials especially have distanced themselves from the political process, despite being highly-opinionated and strong-willed.

The message being propagated is that everybody has a voice.  Everybody, we are told, has not only the right, but the responsibility, to vote.  Everyone has a civic duty to help decide public policy and who our civic leaders will be for the next 2, 4, or 6 years.

But is that true?

Should we encourage every eligible person to vote?

Does an 18-year-old, fresh out of high school, have the same qualifications to vote as a well-seasoned, mature business owner?  Does a kid, still trying to escape the throngs of adolescence, understand the world and human nature well enough to help determine the course of our political landscape?  Is his opinion as well-informed as that of his elders?

And, yet, I have known 18-year-olds with substantially more political acumen than many 50-somethings, so age shouldn't necessarily disqualify a person from voting any more than it qualifies him to do so.  The stark reality is that not everyone is qualified to help make important decisions, but, that being the case, how do we decide who gets to vote?  History has presented many answers to that question, but I don't know that any answer proffered has been both fair and prudent.  Maybe there isn't a perfect solution.  Maybe there is no equilibrium between elitism and chaos.  We can be sure, however, that a nation that requires a license to drive, to conceal a firearm, heck, to install a hot water tank, but does not require a person to obtain a license or pass a test in order to vote, is always one election away from political upheaval.

As it is, mostly every citizen over the age of 18 has the right to vote, so it falls on those who are unqualified to restrain themselves.  If you aren't sure if you should vote or not, here are 18 rules to remember:

1) If you're only voting because a musician, athlete, or actor told you to vote, please don't vote.

2) If you don't pay taxes, please don't vote (at least not on tax-related issues).

3) If you haven't read a single book in 2018, please don't vote.

4) If you think that the name of our country is America, please don't vote.

5) If you think that the United States of America is a democracy, please don't vote.

6) If you think that the Electoral College is a prestigious law school, please don't vote.

7) If your vote is going to be determined by an ad you saw on TV or heard on the radio, please don't vote.

8) If Taylor Swift will in any way influence your vote, please don't vote (I love you T-Swift, but you're a better songwriter than political commentator).

9) If you would vote for anyone with the last name Clinton, please don't vote.

10) If your vote is going to be determined solely by a candidate's ethnicity or gender, please don't vote.

11) If you think that a meme constitutes a cogent argument, please don't vote.

12) If you think that political candidates are responsible to solve all your problems, please don't vote.

13) If you think history is boring, please don't vote.

14) If you overlook the flaws of a candidate because a "D" or an "R" is beside his name, please don't vote.

15) If you think that the United States is comprised of 48 or 52 states, please don't vote (if you've been voting since before Alaska and Hawaii joined the Union, you may deserve some leeway on this one).

16) If you believe that mumble rap is superior to all other forms of music, please don't vote.

17) If you think that you're supposed to vote as many times as possible to help your side win, like you're voting for a contestant on The Voice or American Idol (now I'm dating myself), please don't vote.

And, finally,

18) If this list actually helped you decide whether or not you should vote, please don't vote.










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