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Not Dead Yet: A Book Review

Phil Collins is by a wide margin my favorite musician of all time, so when I heard that his autobiography was being released in October of 2016, I instantly started dropping hints to my wife. You see, she is always looking for gift ideas for me in December, as my birthday falls just 12 days before Christmas.  She got the hint, and I was overjoyed when I opened it up (I can't recall whether it was my birthday or Christmas), despite not being surprised.  The book did not disappoint.  Not Dead Yet, as the name implies, is the witty telling of an interesting and sometimes dark life of one of the foremost pop/rock icons of the 20th century (he's one of only 3 people to have sold over 100 million albums solo and with a band; he shares this distinction with the likes of Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson). Whether you love his seminal "In the Air Tonight," or if you just know him from his climactic swan song "You'll Be in My Heart," you can appreciate this book.

Not Dead Yet is a funny, honest, and somehow relatable memoir.  Phil comes across as a generally likable and humble guy who never expected to be anywhere near as successful as he was.  However, this book is also a testament to the vanity of this world.  Phil Collins literally had everything this world could offer.  He was rich, famous, accomplished, and well-connected, but all of that could not satisfy him.  He was obsessive about his craft and his work has been acknowledged by fans and peers alike, but none of that could save him from emptiness.

There are particularly two areas of his life that display the emptiness of his success.  The first would be the alcohol problem he developed late in life.  After retiring he began to drink, primarily because he was bored.  He admits to negligible (for a drummer anyway) amounts of casual drinking and the occasional joint, but he insists that he was never was much of a partier.  The rigor of his life performances support this insistence.  He never used hard drugs and he wasn't much of a drinker, but in his 50's he developed a drinking habit that almost killed him.  Why on Earth would a successful musician become a drunk late in life?  His life was empty.

The second pertinent area of his life is his well-document romantic failures.  His first wife cheated on him because he was never around, while he cheated on his second wife after an unexpected reunion with his high school sweetheart.  He remained married to his second wife for a few more years, but the marriage was essentially over.  It eventually ended when he began an affair with his third wife, who later left him because he was never around (they have since reconciled, though I don't believe they have remarried).  This unfortunate history has produced some fantastic music, but it is sad to read of your favorite musician's manifold indiscretions.  However, despite his multiple infidelities, he wasn't your typical profligate.  He wasn't the type of musician who partied hard and slept around with women at every show.  His recollections seem genuinely remorseful for every broken relationship. He also seemed to be genuinely searching for love, but no romantic relationship could satisfy his longing.

The music of Phil Collins has brought joy to millions of people around the world, but this book is marked by a sense of hopelessness.  It ends on a relatively high note, as he is reconciled to his third wife and has relationships with his children, but there remains something very tentative about his happiness.  Will he start drinking again?  Will he and his wife stay together?  So on and so forth. There is nothing anchoring him down, guiding his decisions and ensuring his fidelity.  There is no higher principle motivating and defining who he is and what he does.  Unhappiness and dissatisfaction have been the result.

As a Christian I can't help but to think of these words of Jesus, "What does is profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeit his soul?"  If there is no God and no greater purpose to our lives, then there is no reason for hope.  Satisfaction and fulfillment are fleeting notions if we're just accidents on a dirtball in a mindless universe.  But if there is a God and eternity, then there is something for which to strive.  There is an objective principle beyond this world to guide and to lend meaning to our otherwise-meaningless existence.  It's funny, actually.  People think that here and now is all they have, so they live for today, only to find that it doesn't satisfy.  It is focusing on eternity that gives meaning to today.  What we do in this world derives meaning from how we impact eternity.  Wealth, accolades, and sexual experiences will do you little good when you're standing before the Judgment Seat of Jesus Christ.  These things can't even save us in this world; how much more insignificant will they be in eternity!  So while I enjoyed Phil's book, and have enjoyed his music for years, I mourn for him.  I mourn his hopelessness and I pray that he finds a relationship with His Creator and Savior.



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