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Why I'm Voting for Jim Harbaugh

Voting.  Some people do it religiously.  Some people make fun of the people who do it religiously. Some of us have no faith in the system but vote just for the heck of it.  So, yes, I intend to vote, but, no, I will not be voting for any of the names on the ballot, Republican, Democrat, or Third-Party.  I am voting for Jim Harbaugh.

"Who is Jim Harbaugh?" you might ask.  Well, Jim Harbaugh is the head coach of the Michigan Wolverines.  He has them currently ranked #3 in the CFP standings and sitting at 9-0, just three wins away from their first B1G championship game.  Go Blue!  Now, you might say that that doesn't necessarily qualify a person for a position of civil authority, and you'd be 100% right.  So let me go ahead and explain my thought process on why I am voting for Jim Harbaugh.

1) I have always liked to go against the grain.  I'm sort of a prick sometimes, I guess.  Mainly I just like to have fun and, you see, voting for one of the popular choices is so boring.  Maybe I'm just emotionally damaged and making light of a depressing situation is a defense mechanism.  That's probably it.

2) I sincerely believe Jim Harbaugh would be a better president than Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.  Don't you (OSU fans can shut up right now)?  That is not necessarily to say that I think that he would actually be good at it.  It says more about them than it does about him, really.  He has shown more executive capability and stalwart character than either Hillary or Trump.  To put it starkly, he would ruin our country less than either of them.

3) He is an entertaining person.  He does stuff like this.  Now, the other two candidates have the chance to be entertaining, but Harbaugh's entertainment value promises less war and international disgrace.  He's sort of a harmlessly entertaining guy.

4) Voting for Jim Harbaugh is primarily a gesture to communicate my lack of faith in the two-party system.  I'm fed up and cynical and I refuse to be a sheep.  I refuse to be a dog returning to its vomit every four years.  I refuse to put faith in a system and an institution that have repeatedly shown themselves to be broken.  That, more than anything, is what I want my vote to tell America.  It's not a wasted vote.  It's a vote that sends a message that I know every vote is wasted.  That's why I voted for Tim Tebow last time around (secretly I'm just hoping to "make" the news again).

5) Frankly, I couldn't think of anyone better.

#jimharbaughforpresident
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