It's instinct. Someone with funny clothes or messy hair walks past you and you smile. Maybe you laugh a little. You can't help but to criticize him/her. It's human nature, right? Why is it that we humans are so inherently condescending? Anyone who is different from us is automatically open for ridicule. We're constantly searching for ways to critique those around us, even, or perhaps especially, those to whom we are closest. We do it at work. We do it at home. We do it school. We most certainly do it at church! Sometimes we do it verbally, either by harsh words or passive aggressive sarcasm. Sometimes we do it by the look in our eyes. Sometimes we keep the thoughts to ourselves, despising others in our hearts. Whatever our personality may be, we express our disdain for others differently. We all seem to struggle with being critical of others.
Why is this? Is is pride? I think so. Pride is the oldest sin in the book (literally!). We all, even the self-deprecators among us, struggle with pride. We look at other people and we think we're better than them, even if it's because we think we're not as stuck-up! So pride is definitely a part of it, but I don't think that's all of it. I think self-consciousness comes into play as well. We look at what other people have accomplished and the happiness that they have found and we hate them for it. We have to find a hole in their armor, so we prod and prod and prod until we find some way to debase them, even if it's just in our minds. The opposite is true, as well. Sometimes the mistakes and ill-fortunes of others remind us of our own missteps, and we don't like it when that happens, so we figure out a way to make them out to be worse than we are and to make their mistakes look so much more glaring. We work to distinguish ourselves from those whose actions, decisions, and sins look just like ours. So pride and self-consciousness both fuel our critical attitude of others.
A third factor, and one that is particular to those of us who are religious, is legalism. Legalism certainly has elements both of pride and self-consciousness, but it is a different beast altogether. It enlists the aid of religion to help us tear down everyone we know. Too often we humans, even true believers in Christ, want something concrete that we can feel going about doing. We don't want it to be difficult or complex, but we want it to make us feel holy and right with God. Don't touch, don't taste, don't handle, right? So we take God's laws, strip them of their true meaning, build fences around them, and then convince ourselves that other people just don't love God or believe the Bible as much as we do. It is difficult for us to go outside of ourselves for righteousness. It's difficult to admit that absolutely nothing we have done or will do with contribute to our salvation (that's the pride kicking in!) in a positive way. It's really, really hard to admit that we're on the same playing field as everyone else who will be saved--helpless and spiritually destitute, but beneficiaries of God grace.
So, what do we do? First of all, we have to take a good look at ourselves. The best cure for pride is an honest appraisal of oneself, and when we perform this painful task, we must not compare ourselves not to others, but to God and to His immutable Word. Recognizing our own need for growth will go a long way towards making us less critical of others.
Secondly, we need to train our instincts, not just our mouths. Many times we think it is enough to refrain from publishing our negative thoughts about others, but that is not the ethic that Christ came to implement. The Kingdom of Christ has jurisdiction over not only our words and actions, but over our thoughts, as well. We need to develop new thought patterns. When we catch ourselves thinking ill of others, we must stop ourselves and repent. This is, of course, a long and arduous process, and one that requires the aid of the Holy Spirit.
Finally, we need to realign our priorities. Generally speaking, we criticize others for things that really aren't that big of a deal. We criticize our spouses over how the laundry is done (or not done). We criticize our coworkers for insignificant clerical errors. We criticize our pastors for preaching styles or obscure theological views. The things about which we criticize others us usually pale in comparison to the sins that we commit or the real problems the world has that need solving. When we focus on those things that have eternal weight, the trivialities seem to resolve themselves. Remember, love covers a multitude of sin.
So next time a funny-looking guy walks past you at Wal Mart, remember that you probably have as many peculiarities that need work as he does.
Why is this? Is is pride? I think so. Pride is the oldest sin in the book (literally!). We all, even the self-deprecators among us, struggle with pride. We look at other people and we think we're better than them, even if it's because we think we're not as stuck-up! So pride is definitely a part of it, but I don't think that's all of it. I think self-consciousness comes into play as well. We look at what other people have accomplished and the happiness that they have found and we hate them for it. We have to find a hole in their armor, so we prod and prod and prod until we find some way to debase them, even if it's just in our minds. The opposite is true, as well. Sometimes the mistakes and ill-fortunes of others remind us of our own missteps, and we don't like it when that happens, so we figure out a way to make them out to be worse than we are and to make their mistakes look so much more glaring. We work to distinguish ourselves from those whose actions, decisions, and sins look just like ours. So pride and self-consciousness both fuel our critical attitude of others.
A third factor, and one that is particular to those of us who are religious, is legalism. Legalism certainly has elements both of pride and self-consciousness, but it is a different beast altogether. It enlists the aid of religion to help us tear down everyone we know. Too often we humans, even true believers in Christ, want something concrete that we can feel going about doing. We don't want it to be difficult or complex, but we want it to make us feel holy and right with God. Don't touch, don't taste, don't handle, right? So we take God's laws, strip them of their true meaning, build fences around them, and then convince ourselves that other people just don't love God or believe the Bible as much as we do. It is difficult for us to go outside of ourselves for righteousness. It's difficult to admit that absolutely nothing we have done or will do with contribute to our salvation (that's the pride kicking in!) in a positive way. It's really, really hard to admit that we're on the same playing field as everyone else who will be saved--helpless and spiritually destitute, but beneficiaries of God grace.
So, what do we do? First of all, we have to take a good look at ourselves. The best cure for pride is an honest appraisal of oneself, and when we perform this painful task, we must not compare ourselves not to others, but to God and to His immutable Word. Recognizing our own need for growth will go a long way towards making us less critical of others.
Secondly, we need to train our instincts, not just our mouths. Many times we think it is enough to refrain from publishing our negative thoughts about others, but that is not the ethic that Christ came to implement. The Kingdom of Christ has jurisdiction over not only our words and actions, but over our thoughts, as well. We need to develop new thought patterns. When we catch ourselves thinking ill of others, we must stop ourselves and repent. This is, of course, a long and arduous process, and one that requires the aid of the Holy Spirit.
Finally, we need to realign our priorities. Generally speaking, we criticize others for things that really aren't that big of a deal. We criticize our spouses over how the laundry is done (or not done). We criticize our coworkers for insignificant clerical errors. We criticize our pastors for preaching styles or obscure theological views. The things about which we criticize others us usually pale in comparison to the sins that we commit or the real problems the world has that need solving. When we focus on those things that have eternal weight, the trivialities seem to resolve themselves. Remember, love covers a multitude of sin.
So next time a funny-looking guy walks past you at Wal Mart, remember that you probably have as many peculiarities that need work as he does.
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