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When You're Not the Person You Used to Be or Embracing New Firsts

    It seems to me that many of our problems here in America stem from our inability to move on to the next phase of life.  Adolescence.  Immaturity.  Nostalgia.  Call it what you will, but there is in us this innate apprehension from change.  Sometimes it even masks itself as a love of change, but the fact remains, it can be very difficult to let go of who you used to be.  Sometimes we lose tangible abilities: old people lose their vision and hearing; athletes lose a step, as the saying goes.  Sometimes we long for the personalities and attitudes we had when we were teenagers--we were carefree, funny, and charming (actually we were extremely obnoxious, but no one had the heart to tell us, or we were to self-absorbed to hear them). Sometimes we miss the freedom that we used to have.  We were free to do what we wanted, when we wanted, and with whom we wanted.  We look back through old pictures or old love notes and we miss the excitement.  We miss all those firsts.

    There is an episode of Friends that is unusually profound (for Friends anyway).  As Monica and Chandler's wedding draws near, Monica (who had always dreamt of marriage) realizes that she will never again experience the rush that comes with first dates, first kisses, etc.  At the end of the episode, she realizes, after being reassured by Chandler (who is notoriously afraid of commitment), that she may never experience those firsts again, she will experience new firsts--the first house, the first child, etc.  This brief moment in a relatively silly (and generally vulgar) show illustrates an important point. We think we're missing something when we grow up, but we're not.  We're actually missing things by refusing to grow up.

    I don't know about generations past, but I can say for sure that my generation has a bad case of this love of adolescence.  We are the "Toys R Us" generation.  "I don't want to grow up," goes the jingle, "I wanna be Toy R Us kid!"  We don't want to graduate to the next step in our lives.  We want to throw off the yoke of responsibility and hold on to the days of our youth as long as possible, along with all the childish things we loved dearly.  How else do you explain the proliferation of movies like Transformers, TMNT, and the upcoming Power Rangers film?  Now, I'm not judging.  I'm actually really looking forward to the live action Power Rangers movie (let's try and forget that one that came out a long time ago)!  I'm not saying it's wrong to enjoy the shows that you enjoyed as a kid, but it does illustrate the dangerous tendency we have to hold on to our past--especially the parts of which we should let go.

    1 Corinthians 13:11 offers an important principle that applies here.  Paul says, "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I gave up childish ways."  Paul is, of course, not talking about cartoons.  Let's be clear about that.  He's not saying that adults cannot enjoy things that are designed to entertain children.  What he is saying, however, is that we need to grow up.  Men need to be men.  Women need to be women.  We need to let go of the immature and irresponsible ways that characterize children and replace them with forethought, reliability, and self-control.

    There is something undeniably electric about your first kiss.  There's something amazing, especially in retrospect, about the uncertainty of the seminal portion of a relationship.  The monotony of a long-term relationship can seem boring in comparison, but as difficult as it may seem, we need to embrace the normal process of growing up.  We need to let go of that phase of our lives and embrace the next.  Spouses need to be spouses, and not unsteady teens who are allergic to commitment. Parents need to be parents, and not children who have kids.  Adults need to participate in the political process and learn the basics of economics, and so on and so forth.  Most importantly, we need to focus on the important things of life--things that carry eternal weight.  We need to deal with the growing pains and learn to embrace new firsts.  We need to let go of who we used to be so that we can become something more.

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