A few weeks ago an odd and tragic event occurred at the funeral home across from where I work. My coworkers and I heard shouting and saw police cars and an ambulance in the parking lot, and we wondered what could possibly necessitate those things at a funeral. We found out later that a family member had shown up and caused a ruckus at the funeral of a young man who had passed away. My coworkers and I couldn't help but to wonder what could possibly drive someone at a funeral to behave in such a way that law enforcement had to intervene. Is this individual simply that dense? Is he/she that unaware of funeral etiquette? Did he/she just not care? Our minds were thoroughly boggled. I could only come to one conclusion: it was grief. I'd like to say a few words about the power of grief. I have written about grief before, but I feel it bears repeating. Truth be told, grief is one of the few life experiences about which I am personally qualified to write.
Behold the power of grief! Grief makes people do strange things. It is the unseen cause underlying many poor decisions. Grief can make you feel helpless, hopeless, and alone. Grief can drive a shrewd businessman to destitution and a body builder to the brink of emaciation. Grief can sap the potential right out of a human being. Grief is incapacitating. Like gravity, grief is difficult both to explain and escape. Unresolved grief has often led to things like divorce, drug abuse, and suicide.
Grief does not necessarily come from the loss of loved one. It can be the result of a divorce, a failed business venture, or even the loss of a child to adoption/the foster system. Grief over a lost loved one may be the most powerful form because of the absolute nature of death, but it is by no means the only kind.
The thing about grief is that you don't always know you're grieving. Unless someone comes beside you and walks you through the grieving process, you will probably never realize that you're progressing through the same basic steps that most people experience, or, even worse, you may never quite make it through all of them. I know that for me only hindsight truly provided a clear view of my grief. Others may have seen it, but I couldn't understand what was happening, despite having an intellectual understanding of grief and the need to grieve. Sometimes you know you're grieving, but you just don't care. You know that grief is causing you to make bad decisions, but that grief is also making you apathetic about it, so you keep making bad decisions.
There's no time frame for grief. The stages of grief are generalities and do not follow a precise timeline because everyone grieves differently. Someone may grieve sufficiently in a year or less, while others may find themselves still grieving several decades later. Sometimes those who have sufficiently grieved may find themselves tearing up during the deathbed scene in a cheesy Tyler Perry movie 14 years later. Grief is far better understood now than it was a century ago, but there's still much mystery and unpredictability surrounding it.
Grief is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Sometimes grief makes you throw punches at a funeral.
Grief is a daunting adversary, but remember two truths. Firstly, God is more powerful than your grief. No matter what you're going through, it is not more powerful than the Holy Spirit. You can overcome it. Secondly, remember that powerful forces can always be negative or positive. Dynamite is lethal and destructive, but it can also be used for good. Water can destroy entire cities, but it is also necessary for the sustenance of life. In a similar way grief, though often destructive, can be harnessed for good. It can be productive. It can help us grow. It can help us help others. It can, if sanctified, be used to rebuild and encourage. If understood and embraced through the power of the Holy Spirit, grief need not terminate in despair, but can produce a deeper and more profound joy than was previously known. Life will never be the same, of that you can be sure, but it can be good. It can be happy. You can find a new normal, as they say. This may be difficult to believe, especially if your emotional wounds are still fresh, but I assure you it is possible.
Because grief is so powerful, it is important that we grieve properly. It is vital that we harness the emotional energy of grief and use it in a productive manner. If we do not, it will eat away at us. There is very little, if any, neutral ground when it comes to grieving. If we do not grieve well, we will grieve poorly. It is productive or destructive. As has often been said, if you do not get better, you will get bitter.
Behold the power of grief! Grief makes people do strange things. It is the unseen cause underlying many poor decisions. Grief can make you feel helpless, hopeless, and alone. Grief can drive a shrewd businessman to destitution and a body builder to the brink of emaciation. Grief can sap the potential right out of a human being. Grief is incapacitating. Like gravity, grief is difficult both to explain and escape. Unresolved grief has often led to things like divorce, drug abuse, and suicide.
Grief does not necessarily come from the loss of loved one. It can be the result of a divorce, a failed business venture, or even the loss of a child to adoption/the foster system. Grief over a lost loved one may be the most powerful form because of the absolute nature of death, but it is by no means the only kind.
The thing about grief is that you don't always know you're grieving. Unless someone comes beside you and walks you through the grieving process, you will probably never realize that you're progressing through the same basic steps that most people experience, or, even worse, you may never quite make it through all of them. I know that for me only hindsight truly provided a clear view of my grief. Others may have seen it, but I couldn't understand what was happening, despite having an intellectual understanding of grief and the need to grieve. Sometimes you know you're grieving, but you just don't care. You know that grief is causing you to make bad decisions, but that grief is also making you apathetic about it, so you keep making bad decisions.
There's no time frame for grief. The stages of grief are generalities and do not follow a precise timeline because everyone grieves differently. Someone may grieve sufficiently in a year or less, while others may find themselves still grieving several decades later. Sometimes those who have sufficiently grieved may find themselves tearing up during the deathbed scene in a cheesy Tyler Perry movie 14 years later. Grief is far better understood now than it was a century ago, but there's still much mystery and unpredictability surrounding it.
Grief is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Sometimes grief makes you throw punches at a funeral.
Grief is a daunting adversary, but remember two truths. Firstly, God is more powerful than your grief. No matter what you're going through, it is not more powerful than the Holy Spirit. You can overcome it. Secondly, remember that powerful forces can always be negative or positive. Dynamite is lethal and destructive, but it can also be used for good. Water can destroy entire cities, but it is also necessary for the sustenance of life. In a similar way grief, though often destructive, can be harnessed for good. It can be productive. It can help us grow. It can help us help others. It can, if sanctified, be used to rebuild and encourage. If understood and embraced through the power of the Holy Spirit, grief need not terminate in despair, but can produce a deeper and more profound joy than was previously known. Life will never be the same, of that you can be sure, but it can be good. It can be happy. You can find a new normal, as they say. This may be difficult to believe, especially if your emotional wounds are still fresh, but I assure you it is possible.
Because grief is so powerful, it is important that we grieve properly. It is vital that we harness the emotional energy of grief and use it in a productive manner. If we do not, it will eat away at us. There is very little, if any, neutral ground when it comes to grieving. If we do not grieve well, we will grieve poorly. It is productive or destructive. As has often been said, if you do not get better, you will get bitter.
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