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In Case You Were Wondering (a poem)

Originally written September 12th, 2016.


In case you were wondering,
This is what it looks like when you cross
A paranoid mother and
A zealous father.

Here I am,
The third son,
The seventh child,
Something between
A gasp for air and
A sigh of relief,
The baby of the family
Who never really had a childhood,
Trapped in this middle ground between
Who I thought I'd be and
What was expected of me.

I learned the hard way the danger
Of underestimating the effects that
Loss can have on a teenager,
Plagued by a strange blend 
Of fear and apathy,
I failed at everything I never tried.

I found my way, I guess,
I hope,
I found something resembling
A trajectory,
But for all my victories,
I can't help but to wonder,
Who I would have been,
What I would have done,
What lost opportunities I will
Never know I missed.

So here I am,
Documenting my life the only way I know how,
In case you were wondering.

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