True Masculinity

It seems our nation is embroiled in an incessant battle between the "progressive" ideals of feminism and the "old-fashioned" view of the family (and the woman's role therein).  One problem at the heart of this vitriolic debate is an incorrect view of "Biblical" or "traditional" masculinity.  Now, I intend that to be taken in two ways.  Let me explain.

Firstly, many feminists misrepresent the traditional view of marriage.  The Bible teaches a form of complimentarianism, which means that men and women have equal-yet-distinct roles in the family.  The roles compliment each other and are the result of a) our created design and b) the Fall.  Some people like to call this view Patriarchy, but the arguments against this view are often of the "straw-man" variety.  Whatever you want to call it, the Biblical view of the male/female dynamic, along with all leadership/submission relationships, is that of authority predicated upon responsibility.  Leaders protect followers, but followers have to follow if the leaders are going to lead.  That's an oversimplification, of course, but that's the general principle laid out in the Bible.  The Bible teaches protection, not domination.

Secondly, many men, and I mean a whole bunch, have validated the feministic misrepresentation of the Biblical idea of manhood.  Whether misrepresenting or misapplying the Bible, or just generally being a jerk, many men have sought to justify their mistreatment of women/their wives by citing their authority over them as stated in the Bible.  These men have portrayed masculinity as a harsh, domineering, unpredictable trait.  We should note, however, that this problem has existed in practically every society, Judaeo-Christian or otherwise, which demonstrates that this a sin issue, not a problem of ideals.

This is not true masculinity.  True masculinity looks more like the Good Shepherd than a 'roid-raging 80's movie star.  True strength is demonstrated by self-control; not by outbursts of anger.  True leadership cares for and protects; it does not take advantage of or manipulate.  Feminists can find this chauvinistic if they want, but this is true masculinity.  They may not think that they need protection, but the Bible says that it is the man's job to protect, provide for, and guide his family.  His authority is based upon this responsibility.  He is to be their prophet, priest, and king. 

So, men, it begins with you!  Instead of justifying the stereotypes, we must demonstrate this true masculinity.  Don't demand respect--earn it!  If you want her to look up to you, don't look down on her.  Mutual respect is the cornerstone of fulfilling relationships, as there can be no love without respect.

You want to assert your authority?  Go clean the house.

You want to be powerful?  Be gentle.

You want control?  Restrain your own passions.

You want to lead?  Serve.

It's easy to be a bully.  It's easy to manipulate and to use other people, but serving others and putting your family first is the truly difficult, demanding task.  I struggle with this daily, but I recognize that that is my calling, as demonstrated by my Savior.  True men--true followers of Christ--seek to imitate his humble service for his bride.  Our Lord was clear that the path to greatness in His Kingdom is the the path of service.  Our King died for us!

People with an agenda will commonly misrepresent the ideals that they oppose, especially when abuses of those ideals are prevalent.  We cannot expect people to accept our beliefs if we pervert them for our own selfish purposes.  If we are going to stand for the Biblical design for marriage, we must follow the Biblical design for masculinity.