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Some of These People

Some of these people aren't here anymore.




This picture was taken somewhere around the end of '90.  I, the cute, little guy in the blue suit on Grandma's lap, was born on 12/13/89 (the same day as Taylor Swift, mind you), and I figure I'm closing in on a year here.

First we lost Mom.  Then Grandpa.  Then Grandma.  Then Dad.

I had never noticed that Dad is wearing his clerical collar in this picture.  I guess he was ordained earlier than I thought.  I guess I don't actually know when he was ordained...

As I study this picture, it occurs to me that we don't lose loved ones only to death.

We also lose them to divorce...and marriage...and distance...and apathy...and the busyness of life. 

Sometimes we lose them to the pain we were never able to confront.

Time moves on.  The world changes.  The life you knew, which probably wasn't what you thought it was anyway, changes.  There's no way it can't.  

The Universe simply won't allow it.  Sin won't allow it.  Time won't allow it.

So, on what should be Gary Spencer's 72nd birthday, I think about how different life is.  I think about how I miss him.  I think about how I've gotten used to missing him, just like I got used to missing Mom.

I miss Grandma and Grandpa, too.

In fact, I miss every person in this picture that I no longer get to see regularly.

I miss the way life used to be, and yet...

Other people hadn't come around yet.  Not pictured here are four more grandchildren and a host of great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren.  Not pictured here are husbands, wives, and children that entered our lives and created new families with new stories.  Not pictured here are new joys and new struggles.   

Life is different...and that's okay.  That's how life works.

Life is different...life is beautiful.

Some of these people aren't here anymore, but some of them are, and I love them, even if I don't get to see them very often.









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